3 Years and One Step Closer

When I was in high school, I used to carry around tiny pocket-sized notebooks to keep track of my thoughts in. My first one was blue and I wrote “Be Kind” on the front in Sharpie. Jake used to call them my “playbooks”.

I’m grateful for these little records of high school revelation and experiences.

On the last page of a notebook from 2015 I wrote, “Be Worthy of the Person You Want to Marry”.

Growing up I remember doing activities where we made lists of qualities or attributes we wished to see in our future spouses.  We would write things like "tall" or "handsome" or "good with kids". This can be fun and help you see your priorities, but overall, I always felt a little funny doing the exercise. I didn’t want to limit my future companion with a list I made before I even met him. The attributes of a future husband was something I couldn't really "order" like items on the dollar menu. 

In this little notebook I decided to make a list a qualities or attributes I wanted to see in myself to be ready for an eternal marriage. That was something I could control.

Without knowing the Lord’s timing or what the future would hold, I decided to prepare for my eternal marriage. ]

​Here’s what I wrote:
                -Be a tough disciple
                -Use and hold a current temple recommend
                -Daily scripture study/prayer
                -Love the Lord the most
                -Be friendly
                -Be cute and ready
                -Be forgiving
                -Be encouraging
                -Be close to the Holy Ghost
                -Sing Hymns the loudest

Jake woke up at about 2:30 this morning to wish me a Happy Anniversary. He said he wanted to be the first one to say it, and if he waited until we got up for work, he risked forgetting in all the morning tasks.

As I think over the past three years, I’m reminded of a note from Jake I keep in my desk at school. He wrote it to me last year in the middle of cancer treatment. It says,

“We are one step closer. Closer to beating cancer, closer to God, and closer to each other. I love you more. -Jake”

Our fight with cancer is over and as I look over these three years, “one step closer” seems to be a good title for it all.
Jake is my best decision and a walking miracle. I love him more every day. He has helped me become the best person I have ever been.

In all my preparation for an eternal marriage, I didn’t realize that all the attributes I worked so hard on in myself, would be present in Jake. He is so special and the greatest blessing I will ever receive.

Three happy years behind us and many more happy years to come. I love you Jake.