“I Love That This is Happening!”

Jake and I swapped stories last night about past Halloweens. He remembered a Halloween he spent dressed as a red M&M when he was about 11 years old.

He picked the costume idea weeks before Halloween and he and his mom worked on creating the perfect red M&M costume. They made it out of red fleece and put batting inside to give it the right shape. He wore a white long sleeve shirt and white tights underneath. The white beanie and gloves finished the look. He said he and Caleb Murphy rode their scooters house to house and filled their pillow cases with trick or treating candy.

I remembered a Halloween when I was about 7 or 8. My mom had bought my sister and I the most beautiful Fairy costumes. They were pink, green, purple, and yellow. The tulle sleeves and skirt were beautiful, but not very warm for a cold Halloween night. My mom put makeup on my eyes and lips and put spray glitter in my hair. She then broke the news to me that I would be wearing my white thermals under my fairy costume. I was absolutely heartbroken. The thermals were going to ruin everything. My mom was quick to compliment me though and things weren’t completely ruined after all. She told me I was just going to be a “snow” fairy with my winter thermals on.

Sometimes changing your mindset can make a big difference. Whether it helps you have a Happy Halloween or gets you through something bigger, changing your view to a more positive one makes all the difference.

As we progress in cancer treatments the biggest priority is keeping Jake healthy. We have a bottle of hand sanitizer for every room in the house and one for the car. I wipe down the door knobs and light switches with Clorox wipes. Jake’s fourth period classes clean their desks at the end of the day and Jake sprays Lysol everywhere between classes. We brought Clorox wipes to the movies and tried to sit alone. He just can’t get sick. Every nurse reminded us of that at treatment today as we expect his “counts” to go down as chemo does its job.

I know we’re early in the process and we’ve got lots ahead, but I’ve already identified something worse than any germs Jake could pick up.

Negativity.

Sometimes it’s hard to be positive. I get that. We get sad sometimes. It’s because we don’t want to see the people we love suffer. It’s because we want to take the trial away or fix it instantly.

We can’t.

So we have to be positive. We have to shift our view. We have to be “snow” fairies because sometimes we have to wear our thermals.

Today was dose two of round one of chemotherapy. That means we have 5 more rounds and 10 more doses to go. Our next one is already scheduled for November 15th. This is going to be a long 6 months if we or the people who love us have any room for negative or discouraging thoughts or feelings. And who has time for them when we are surrounded by all the miracles, positive notes, gifts, donations, thoughts, and more that have come our way in the past few weeks.

So we’re shifting our view. We went to the clinic to kill cancer today, not to receive chemotherapy. Jake will experience side-effects, but that means the treatment is WORKING.

Jake is already good at this. He was singing “There is Sunshine in My Soul Today” as our nurse Amy drew blood for his labs.

During treatment today Jake looked at me and said, “I love that this is happening!” He was watching the “red angel” and other cancer drugs run through the tubing into the port in his chest. It’s working!

He’s not just saying that. We are truly so happy.